Behind my phobia

I have several blogs buzzing about in my mind just now and I hope to publish each of them in sequence although sometimes something completely different will intervene and another type of blog may come before the theme I am currently pursuing. I am starting this series with some photos which are possibly the subject of many nightmares, myself included. I even go as far as to admit to a phobia from childhood days when anything crawly or with wings would scare me so much I would cry and scream in fear until help was found to remove the 'scary' thing! Dad is convinced we must have the world's largest spiders, moths and creepy crawlies given my reaction to seeing any of them. One fear I still can't convince myself of is spiders of any size or description. Dad even thought it was fun to take a few photos and watch my reaction as I downloaded his camera card......he has since decided this is still not a good idea!

As readers will know we both have been taking a lot of photos of butterflies, damselflies and dragonflies to name but a few of the insect life we have found in scrubland. Up until this week I started to feel self conscious about sharing so many photos in various places with the same theme. I was so nervous about this as an unintentional comment about 'moving on' made me feel it was the amount of nature photos I was sharing. I know in my heart this wasn't intended but I stopped posting for a while as my super sensitive nature convinced me I was boring everyone. I couldn't hide for long as my love of nature overwhelmed me to want to share the beauty we saw and try to show people how we need to work hard for the conservation of the natural life around us.

I have found myself welling up with tears when we download our photos and I see just how much detail there is in the insects I would have shouted to be squashed or removed a few miles away from our home! Together with dad and our friends Sion and Neil we have been sharing the wonders of nature and have become so passionate after reading our books and discovering the world on our doorsteps we just couldn't describe the feeling. We have all added yet more books to our personal libraries the most recent of which is a wonderful manual on butterflies of Britain and Ireland by Jeremy Thomas & Richard Lewington, which I can recommend if you are interested in the incredible life of butterflies, it truly is an amazing book. One to purchase for the coffee table and discover things you may never have been taught in school.

I have to remind myself that I am typing to much as I could type pages about our discoveries and believe me every word would come right out of my heart. I will add some photos of the insects which I really never thought would make me think again about being so nervous about them. To see how craneflies stretch their extra long legs and balance with their wings is unbelievable. I wish I could share the larger photos to show the tiniest details which cause me to stop and wonder. The little hoverfly, important for pollination another gilded beauty with its little helmet of armour on his head. The delicate Lacewing, how did I see her in the midst of long grass? Sadly people don't realise they aren't just sitting there waiting for a 'selfie'. 

There are more photos I would love to share, maybe someday but at least when they are on our website I wouldn't fear posting too many of the wonders I see in nature. Be thankful my obsession is nature and not selfies.......  I put all my heart into taking my photos and know after a lot of failures to achieve a good photo isn't something that just happened, this is another reason I have a passion to share and now I must remind myself to stop typing as my words will soon be a book! Thank you for reading if you have made it to the end or even the middle of this blog post. Beverley